Body Language

June 18, 2017

Hey, guys! We’re on day 28. In today’s topic, we’re talking about body language. Why is body language so important? First of all, body language is misunderstood. When we go to school, we’re taught math, spelling, and words, but not taught about body language.

In the last few years, I have been studying body language and learning a lot about it. It’s all a tale about what’s going on in your head. So we get to be clear and accurate about what we’re doing with our bodies. What I mean is in all communication, we have words, tone, and body language. The body language is 55%, and tone is 38%, which is a total of 93%. This means that words are the last 7%.

In our formal education, we’re all taught about words, which is the least efficient way to communicate. What it comes down to are our body language and our facial expression. I got a funny story for you real quick.

I was recently at a restaurant with a friend of mine, who has a disease. Just kidding, it’s not a disease, but we call it RBF. What he does is he unintentionally has what we call a resting bitch face. He looks mad, but he’s not.

So we’re sitting at the restaurant, and the waitress comes over, you know, comes to take our order and isn’t making eye contact with him. She’s filling out a little note thing. She looks up and goes, like this audible gasp. The note says, Are you upset? I just burst into laughter.

I thought it was hilarious because I knew he wasn’t upset. But that’s what his face was saying. I thought it was funny that he got called out on it. So 55% of communication comes from our body language. Our face is capable of several hundred micro-expressions, right?

There are so many different things you can do with your eyebrow, your smiles, whatever. You have to be paying attention to that. You want to make sure that your face matches up with what you mean. Okay, so watch out for RBF. Body language indicates whether you’re open or not.

So imagine this, let’s say I’m trying to sell a product, and I’m like, Oh, yeah, you’ll love it. It’ll be great! The words make it sound great, but my body language is pushing away. There we’ve got to be aware of what we’re doing with our bodies.

Also, when you’re engaged in a face-to-face conversation, never touch your face. That’s a sign that you’re hiding something. That’s what the other person is picking up on in nonverbal communication. So we want to be aware of that.

When suggesting a new idea, instead of pushing it on someone, listen to their feedback. I want to change something. I am offering feedback. Oh, hey, did you consider this? Then I leave my hands there because now I’m ready to receive their information. Right? We’re not going to do any closed body language, like crossing your arms.

The body language says so much, and we don’t spend a lot of time on it. We wonder why we get misunderstood. So you might be coming from a place of love, concern, and listening. Imagine you’re standing there with your arms crossed and your legs crossed, and you might think you’re comfortable. In reality, you’re just sending off the signal to quit talking to me.

Another interesting thing is your body language includes your eye contact. Think about it this way, when you want to show someone that you’re listening, and you’re making eye contact, one thing I learned is while I was staring into their eyes, I’m trying to show them, I’m listening. I would create a Death Stare on accident, It would be like a staring contest, and I was doing it wrong. I thought I was making eye contact.

So the right way when you first meet someone, and you go to make eye contact with them. Notice how long they lock on to you. Then notice how long they lock on to you. Then when they look away. That’s how long you’re going to lock your gaze. Let’s say there are two seconds.

So then you start talking, and you’re looking at them, one, two, then you look away, and then look right back. Or maybe it’s five seconds or 10 seconds, people are going to show you how long they’re comfortable making eye contact for, and you don’t want to force them past their comfort.

When looking at eye contact, don’t bounce back and forth between eyes. Okay, what you do is you look at one eye, and when you check in with their mouth and then go back to their eye. Is that your best way of showing? I’m listening, okay? Our body language is a major key.

Now also, Nick and I spend a lot of time on the phone. How does body language come into play on the phone? Well, motion causes emotion. When we’re on the phone, even though no one’s seeing us, we’re still standing up, using our gestures, excited about things. It’s something that comes across in your tone.

If you’re sitting down versus standing up, people can hear it. So body language, all the nonverbal cues, it’s important to take concern, look at your face in the mirror. I’m serious, do this exercise, look at your face and see, when you’re resting. Could someone misinterpret that as you’ve been upset? What can you do about it?

Practice smiling, having that pleasing personality, that pleasing tone, and more people will approach you. More people will understand the message you’re trying to convey. You’ll be more effective. You’re tired of wasting time, energy, and effort and still being misunderstood. It’s probably because of the body language.

So remember open hands, solid eye contact. Okay, make sure you know what you’re doing with your hands. Then position your feet to how you would in a group conversation. Are you putting your feet where it shows that you’re including people, or are you twisting or turning them away? It’s a big deal.

One of the things was sitting down. George Washington was adamant about this rule. If you’re sitting down, having a conversation with someone, both feet on the ground. I know people like to sit and throw one leg up on their knee. However, that’s insulting because now you’re showing someone the bottom of your shoe.

That body language says I don’t care what you’re looking at. Again, it’s the message that you’re trying to convey. You’re trying to be accurate, with your words with your tone, and with your body language. So George Washington’s got some cool rules. He wrote a book about how you show up in society.

Our minds can process 400 to 500 words a minute. But our mouths only create between 150 and 250 words per minute. So the other 500 words or 200 words of 250 words that are still in our minds come out of our body language. So you want to make sure that it’s all accurate. It’s all lining up.

You can have that breakthrough in that communication. Take that next step, whether that’s for your health, relationships, business, or for your wealth.

I hope that was bringing some value. Thanks for plugging in, and hugging someone is another great way to share some body language that you’re open. Have a great night. We’ll see you later.

 

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