Body Language

June 18, 2017

Hey, guys, welcome to our next day of topics of improvement. We’re calling this the 60 sunrises to success. We’re on day 28. And today’s topic we’re talking about body language. And why is body language so important? Well, first of all, body language is very misunderstood because when we go to school and we go to regular traditional training, we’re not taught about body language. We’re taught about math and spelling and words and word structure, but we’re not taught about body language. And so, recently, over the last few years, I’ve been studying body language and learning a lot about it. And it’s all a tell about what’s going on in your head. And so we get to be really clear and accurate about what we’re doing with our bodies.

 So what I mean is in all communication, we have words, we have the tone, we have the body language, the body language is 55%, tone is 38%, which is a total of 93%, which means that words are the last 7%. In our formal education, we’re all taught about the words, which is the least efficient way to communicate. Really, what it comes down to is our body language and our facial expression. So I got a funny story for you real quick. So I was recently at a restaurant with a friend of mine, who has a disease. Just kidding, it’s not a disease, but we call it RBF. Okay. And what he does is he unintentionally has what we call a resting bitch face. He looks mad, but he’s not. And so we’re sitting at the restaurant and the waitress comes over, you know, comes to take our order and isn’t making eye contact with him. She’s filling out a little note thing. And she looks up and goes, like this audible gasp. And it says, Are you upset? And I just busted up laughing. I thought it was hilarious, because I knew he wasn’t upset. But that’s what his face was saying. So I thought it was funny that he got called out on it. So 55% of communication comes from our body language, our face is capable of several hundred micro expressions, right? There’s so many different things you do with your eyebrow, on the corner of your lips, your smiles, whatever, you really got to be paying attention that you want to make sure that your face matches up with what you mean. Okay, so watch out for RBF.

Body language really indicates whether you’re open or not. So imagine this, let’s say I’m trying to sell a product and I’m like, Oh, yeah, you’ll absolutely love it. It’ll be great. You’ll love it. Just try it. You know, the company is wonderful. The words make it sound great. But what’s my body language of pushing away? There we’ve got to be really aware of what we’re doing with our bodies. Okay. Also, when you’re engaged in a face to face conversation, never touch your face.That’s a sign that you’re hiding something. That’s what the other person is picking up on in nonverbal communication. So we really want to be aware of that. Right? So when suggesting a new idea or something, instead of doing the hand push I got this new idea for you. Oh, hey, here’s this thing for you when I’m offering someone feedback, right? It’s time for some new ideas. I want them to change something. I am offering feedback. Oh, hey, did you consider this, I want you to think about this. And, and then I leave my hands there because now I’m ready to receive their information. Right? We’re not going to do any closed body language, like crossing your arms. Or, you know, imagine if I was walking around doing this. Very confident. It Just feels silly. Of course not. Great. stand up tall. The body language says so much and we don’t really spend a lot of time on it. And we wonder why we get misunderstood. So you might be coming from a place of love and coming from a place of concern and listening. But imagine you’re standing there with your arms crossed and your legs crossed, and you might think you’re comfortable. But really you’re just sending off the signal, quit talking to me.

Another interesting thing, and then we’ll wrap it up right after this with your body language is your eye contact and how you are making your eye contact game. Think about it this way.When you want to show someone that you’re listening, and you’re making eye contact, see, one thing I learned is while I was staring into their eyes, I’m trying to show them, I’m listening. But I would create a Death Stare on accident, I just be like, staring contest, and I was doing it wrong. I thought I was making eye contact. So the right way, what I learned was, you first meet someone, and you go to make eye contact with them. Notice how long they lock on to you. And then bug, notice how long they lock on to you. And then when they look away. That’s how long you’re gonna lock your gaze. So let’s say there’s two seconds. So then you start talking and you’re looking at them, one, two, then you look away, and then look right back. Or maybe it’s five seconds, or 10 seconds, people are going to show you how long they’re comfortable making eye contact for and you don’t want to force them past their comfort. When looking at eye contact, don’t bounce back and forth between eyes. Okay, what you do is you look at one eye, and then you check in with their mouth and then go back to their eye. Is that your best way of showing? I’m listening, okay? Our body language is a major key.

Now also, Nick and I spend a lot of time on the phone. How does body language come into play on the phone? Well, motion causes emotion. And so when we’re on the phone, even though no one’s seeing us, we’re still standing up, we’re still using our gestures, we’re still really excited about things. And it’s, it’s something that comes across in your tone. If you’re sitting down versus standing up, people can actually hear it. So body language, all the nonverbal cues, it’s important to take concern, look at your face in the mirror, I’m serious, do this exercise, look at your face. And see, when you’re resting. Could someone misinterpret that as you’ve been upset? And what can you do about it? Right practice smiling, having that pleasing personality, that pleasing tone, and more people will approach you more people will understand the message you’re trying to convey, you will be much less misunderstood. And, and you’ll be more effective. You’re tired of wasting time and energy and effort and still be misunderstood. It’s probably because of the body language. So remember, open hands, solid eye contact. Okay, make sure you know what you’re doing with your hands. And then positioning your feet to how are you in a group conversation? Are you putting your feet where it shows that you’re including people or you twisting or turning them away? It’s a big deal.

One of the things was sitting down, George Washington was adamant about this rule. If you’re sitting down, having a conversation with someone, both feet on the ground. I know a lot of times people like to sit and throw one leg up on their knee, you know, put their foot up on their knee. But that’s that’s kind of insulting because now you’re showing someone the bottom of your shoe. That body language just says I don’t care what you’re looking at. Again, it’s the message that you’re trying to convey. And you’re trying to be accurate, with your words with your tone, and with your body language. So George Washington’s got some really cool rules. He wrote a book about how you show up in society. Anyway, people’s feet on the ground. It’s the messages that you want to make sure people are picking up accurately.

Something else. Our minds can process four to 500 words a minute. But our mouths only create between 150 and 250 words per minute. So the other 500 words or 200 words of 250 words that are still in our mind that we produced that didn’t come out of our mouths in word form, come out of our body in the language. So your thoughts still come out. So you want to make sure that it’s all accurate. It’s all lining up. It’s all the same message so you can be heard. You can have that breakthrough in that communication. And take that next step. Whether that’s for your health, for your relationships, for Your business or for your wealth. Okay.major key start studying to look at yourself and stay plugged in stay joining stay learning.

Thanks, guys for jumping on. With all these awesome people’s body language, two major keys, it has changed how people change is how people perceive me, solely, I was always doing my best to try to share and be accurate. And then I took this body language class like whoa, I totally was not being accurate. So I thought I’d be able to share with you. So hope that was bringing some value. Thanks for plugging in and giving someone a hug is another great, great way to share some body language that you’re open. Alright guys, have a great night. We’ll see you later.